Its starting to be that time of year again. The time of year where people are startig to talk about mothers day and how great moms are and how you should be greatful to your mother and thank her and buy her nice stuff.

I guess thats all well and good.......if you have a mom.

I have mixed mommy emotions.

See, I hardly know my mom at all. I don’t remember ever even SEEING her until I was in my teens, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her sober at all.

I love my mom. I think its genetic becasue she’s never actually done anything to MAKE me love her. I love her anyway.

I hate my mom, because I never HAD her. I grew up raised mostly by my dad. I have 2 brothers. Because of that I’m pretty much a dumbass when it comes to ways of women. I never did master making makeup look good. Good hair care? Nope. General hygiene? I bath. I brush my teeth. I use mens shaving cream.

Also, being raised in a mostly male atmosphere has left me a bit inept in the company of other women. I’ve always been more comfortable in the company of men.

Which is pretty good, because men seem to be A LOT less snarky and apt to stab you in the back than female "friends." I can’t think of a single one of my female friends who have not said nasty things about me behind my back. If my guy friends ever did so, they at least had the tact to not le me find out about it.

One of my mommy emotions is also sorrow. I missed not having a mom growing up. Not having someone to nurture and baby me. I love my dad to death, he is a wonderful man, the apple of my eye, but not very big on making with the comfort. Not someone I could go to when my heart was broken.

I never had a Mom.

I did have mommy figures. Like my Aunt Sparrow. If I could call any woman Mom, it would be her. She has been there for me.

And now there is Sheryl, my husbands mom, who is one of the sweetest most wonderful people I have ever known.

Even before Robert and I were actually married I was calling her Mommie.

She is Mommy, and Roberts dad is still Bobby to me. -smile-

So, right now its still a few weeks away from mothers day and I’m seeing all this mothers day stuff.

As it gets closer and closer to the day, and more and more people talking about mom and advertisements talking about how great mothers are I’m going to be an emotional wreck, not sure if I should feel love for the woman who gave birth to me, or hatred for her, or depressed because I never had her or grateful for the mother figures I do have.

Proceed with caution.